March 30, 2010 Devar Torah: Pessach, First Day – Susan Schneider The Torah portion that we read today- it starts with a Pesach lamb- we were commanded to sacrifice a lamb and put the blood on the lintels to mark the house of the Israelites, and God will pass over the homes of the Israelites and go to the other homes and smite the first born.  And you should celebrate and tell this story. “You shall observe this for you and your descendents (verse 12:24)”. The Israelites hurried to leave and brought matzah. The Torah continues on (although this is beyond what we read today)- chapter 13:  Remember this day- which you went free from Egypt- how God freed you from it with a mighty hand….and no leavened bread shall be eaten.  It seems a bit cliché to talk about these verses- not too far of a stretch- but I have been struggling recently- thinking- “what is all about?”  “Why do we/I make all this fuss?  This is where I digress from an intellectual rational explanation and rely on my emotions.  I will start by sharing 3 recent experiences… A few things inspired me to give a drash today.  First when I read the book- The brothers K- I came across this powerful passage that really struck me- which I will share with you shortly, the second event was having a mother call my office and leave a message on the nurse advice line (For those of you who do not know- I am a nurse in a pediatric office) and the mom was very upset that her 9 year old daughter just started her period- she was most concerned that she had never talked to her daughter about it as she thought she had many years before she would need to  have that talk- she was worried that her daughter would have absolutely no idea as to what was happening to her.  The third was while I was having a conversation with someone about Seders and that they did not feel like doing the long thorough Seder this year- that we do the same thing year after year- and this started a conversation about the need- the constant need- for reminders in our rituals and religion- that we constantly need words, and acts, and ritual to remind of us God and what God has created. (Saying that out loud in our conversation almost made us sound like idiots- that if we do not continuously do these rituals then we will forget about God…) I tend to be a bit cynical- I just don’t seem to believe much of the outlandish stories these days- if anything sounds too crazy- my first response is “I don’t believe it”  for example- 20 pound baby born, or baby born with 2 heads, or we need to be scared of everything- H1N1, SARS, terrorists-those types of stories.  We, or perhaps just me, are all so tainted.  And the media keeps trying to shock us with these stories.  There are those that believe all the stories and buy all the hype…..but we have so many resources to find out the truth- we can base our beliefs on research and information. I fully 100% believe in all of our stories in the Torah and in God- no question in my mind.  And my cynical side fully questions our stories.  Are they true?  How did they come to be?  Do we really believe this?  Did our ancestors really believe this?  How different the times were when they did not have resources to know if something was true or not- they did not know how the world worked, nature, natural events, life, death, birth, light, darkness, rain-  the only “truth” was that everything came from God. What really strikes me is our story from ancient times and how the development and relationship with God developed. In today’s times we have our image and ideas of God based on our reality and our ancestor’s stories and experiences- but in Biblical times- it was all new- everything that happened shaped the image of God.  At the time- people did not have sources to go to, to research, and to explore- God was what they saw and experienced in daily life.  So the thought of the patient from my office experiencing something that was completely foreign and unknown to her- made me think about our history and having a time when everything was new- this can either be an incredible, powerful, positive experience that is appreciated, or the alternative is something incredibly scary. As I was talking with a friend who was commenting that she was tired of the long Seder- been there, done that.  We go through it each year.  We came to a conclusion that we are a people that constantly needs reminding.  Everything in the Jewish ritual life is a reminder.  It is often said we are a stiff necked stubborn people.  We read the Torah year after year, we kiss our tzitzit, we pray, we have Seder every year, we celebrate Shabbat, and we recite prayers and blessings.  These are all memory aiding devices.  Constant reminders to ourselves that we are Jewish and that God is involved in life. So why do we do Passover and the Seder? The Passover story is all about proving to the Israelites and to Pharaoh- that God is all powerful.  The exodus and retelling of the story gives credence to our people hood and our God. We repeat year after year the story of the Korban Pesach- in Ancient days this showed a powerful challenge of the faith and commitment of the Israelites- they openly slaughtered the Egyptian deity.  By doing this- they surrendered their will and sensibilities. They had complete faith, and sacrifice, and commitment to God. Our story has to be personal- not just our ancestors’ story.  Our personal memories can be re-lived.  Events occur in our lives and shape us- we can choose which events shape us and make us who we are. The experience of redemption and leaving Mitzrayim is what shaped the Jewish people. So- the third issue of my inspiration for this drash is this incredible quote I read in a book-.  I finished one of the best books I have ever read.  It is called- The Brother’s K- and it is about a family with lots of challenges and struggles.  The background for the quote is that one brother is in a military mental institution after coming back from Vietnam, the father is dying from cancer, the brother who is saying the quote is in jail for evading the draft and is writing a letter to his girlfriend, Tasha, who is pregnant with his child- some of the family are fanatical 7th Day Adventist which has caused a lot of rifts in the family but he has not been involved in the religion and had some very negative experiences throughout his life- ok- so here is the letter - Papa’s going fast now, Tasha, his visit was so short and if things go as we fear I’ll never see him again.  That this is asked of me, that drinking this down has become part of my “debt to society”- it’s making me crazy, Tasha, probably for life.  Yet at the same time something inside me (is it just my craziness?) keeps wanting to thank God.  And not derisively.  I keep getting these mind-stopping impulses, several times a day lately, to kneel, or no, to fall flat on my face actually and to thank God, if there is ONE, with all my heart.  Can you believe it?  Why, why thankfulness and why now?  Is it just because it is clear to me now that the economy of psyche, the inner checks and balances, our inner workings are so tricky, so impossibly fragile, we’re so easily crushed, that I can’t believe any longer that it’s me alone, or even me and you alone, or even me and you and luck alone, that’s keeping me alive?  I feel now that we could die or be killed or be driven mad by grief or disaster at any moment.  Even the strongest of us.  Or be killed on the inside without even being touched.  Yet my reaction to this, Tasha, has suddenly ceased to be anger and begun to be gratitude.  And I don’t even know why. I have nothing to live for, yet right in the heart of me- gratitude.  Why?  Because of you- not you, Tasha- this other You.  You hear me, and I feel you.  I mean the who or whatever you are, being or nonbeing that somehow comes to us and somehow consoles us.  I don’t know your name.  I don’t understand you.  I don’t know how to address you.  I don’t like people who think they do.  But it’s you alone, I begin to feel, who sends me this woman’s love and our baby, and this new hope and stupid gratitude, even as my father goes down and my brother lies broken….O thing that consoles.  How clumsily I thank you. -- Excerpt from The Brothers K- by David Duncan. I found this to be such an incredible description of God and how God can affect our lives.  And doesn’t a lot of our story come down to God and how God affects our lives? - Whether it is a great event- Exodus from Egypt and miracles, or just the miracle that we can cope with life?  Ultimately being reminded of our Exodus story- reminds us or renews in us from year to year- that we have faith- faith in our Jewish past and present, faith in God.  So putting all my drash inspiration stories together- I just was thinking about the development of faith and God from ancient times to now: I found an article by - Helen Ciaravino from “How to Pray” Her article talked about the view of God in ancient days- Early people relied on God as Supreme and Absolute- responsible for creation and redemption.  The One who acts as judge and requires specific conduct and ethics. God is capable of love, anger, care. God is both near and far, inherently in each of us and also transcendent infinite and always, rising above time and space, but involved in the history of the world and its people. Responsible for both joyous and tragic events. God accepts prayer as measure of atonement- replacing animal sacrifice- once viewed as act of penance God has Preservation, hope, faith, and a love of the Jewish people Reuven Hammer in  “Answers to Prayers”- -says faith and prayer made one capable of further interacting with God- of better handling situations, of being more receptive to God’s gifts In Biblical days- Judaism was God centered and Prophet centered- then priests and rabbis took over- then Temple fell- there were still rabbis to lean on- and there was an authority shift from God to community Ancient beliefs reflect common circumstances- birth, death, war and peace- natural phenomenons.  They are shared/borrowed/modified ideas with other cultures.  Jews developed the concept of monotheism- a single deity The Exclusive God- the only One God was Spiritual- no physical embodiment.  God is Absolute- no higher power Ancient Jewish times- stories were told and retold as most important events in history In Biblical times- there was a fear and awe of God Judaism's belief in one, all-powerful God made the Jewish People unique in ancient times.  What is God in Judaism? The basis of the Jewish concept of God can be derived from Rambam's thirteen principles of faith. God exists. The first line of the Torah (Hebrew Bible) reads, "In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth." God is introduced as creator of the universe. No background information is needed as God's existence is a given. In Judaism, the world's existence is sufficient proof of God's existence. God is one. Belief in one God is a fundamental Jewish belief. The Shema, a central prayer, states "Hear, Israel: The Lord is God, The Lord is one." The idea of any other God is heretical for Jews. It follows that all prayer and praise can only be directed to God. God is incorporeal. In Judaism, God has no body, God is non-physical. Any mention of God's body is considered to be metaphorical. Any physical representation of God, such as the Golden Calf, is considered to be idolatry. As God has no body, God has no gender. While God is referred to in masculine terms and the Shechinah (Divine presence that fills the universe) is referred to in feminine terms, God is actually neither male nor female. God is eternal. God has no beginning and no end. God transcends time. God is omnipresent. God is everywhere. God has no spacial boundaries. God fills the universe and beyond. And God is always near. God is omniscient. God is all knowing. God knows all people’s thoughts and deeds, in the past, present and future. God is omnipotent. God is all-powerful. The only thing outside of God's control is people’s free will. God will reward good and punish bad. God is just and merciful. Thus, people can atone for their sins. Via prayer, repentance and giving (tzedakah), people can find their way back into God's favor. While Judaism's traditional beliefs about God are clear, Jews today vary greatly in their beliefs about God. I have been struggling lately.  What is this all about?  There is a part of me who completely believes in all our stories- very literally.  And yet lately, there is another part of me- that questions- is this all silliness- that we hang on to the Passover story? When one tries to explain about why we do what we do- it is hard to make it sound intelligent- I find that my explanations are just about my feelings- what it makes me feel to do the rituals and live my life as a Jew and how that relates and connects me to our community and to my feeling of God. In prayer, and belief in God, and in the Seder we try to reenact feelings and events to make us feel whole and important and strong- both individually and communally.  There are many miracles in life- from the times of our ancestors in Egypt and now- I would say that a miracle happened for me this past Shabbat- as my mind has been swirling about with all the things that I just talked about- and feeling a bit like my foundation is cracking a bit with events going on- I came across a psalm in the beginning of the Shabbat morning service- Psalm 36:  How precious is Your constant love, O God.  Mortals take shelter under Your wings.  They feast on the abundance of Your house; You give them drink from Your stream of delights.  With You is the fountain of life; in Your light we are bathed in light.  Maintain Your constant love for those who acknowledge You, and Your beneficence for those who are honorable. This literally answered my prayers. Chag Sameach