Because learning Torah gives us the greatest pleasure, it is customary not to study Torah while sitting shiva (while mourning). On Thursday, I got up from sitting shiva for my father and began to do some learning on our parasha in preparation for today, and of course, thoughts and memories of my father filled my mind. So I want to dedicate our learning this morning to my father, Sandy Levy, who instilled in me his great love of Yiddishkeit and of learning
In Vayigash, we reach the dramatic climax of the story of Joseph and his brothers, when Joseph finally reveals himself and reunites with his family. Joseph sends his brothers home to get their father, Jacob, who hurries to go down to Egypt to see his long lost son he thought was dead.
On his way to Egypt, Jacob stops in Beersheva to make offerings of gratitude to God, who appears to him with comforting promises:
"Israel (Jacob) and all that was his set out and came to Be'ersheva, and he made sacrifices to the God of his father Isaac. And God called to Israel in a vision of the night. “Jacob! Jacob!” He answered, “Here I am.” And God said, “I am God, the God of your father. Fear not to go down to Egypt, for I will make you there into a great nation. I Myself will go down with you to Egypt, and I Myself will also bring you back; and Joseph’s hand shall close your eyes." (Genesis 46:1-4)
The rabbis notice that Jacob gave thanks to the God of his father Isaac, which would not be unusual, but for a previous event near Be'ersheva. Back in Bereshit 28, Jacob leaves Beersheva and has his famous dream of a ladder to the heavens, during which God is revealed as the "God of Abraham your father and God of Isaac."
So Beersheva or near Beersheva is apparently an important place for Jacob to have his encounters with God. It was also an important place in the journeys of his father and grandfather, Isaac and Abraham, you’ll find if you go back to Bereshit 21 and 26.
So a question is raised in the minds of the rabbis from the Torah’s language: If Beersheva was an important place for Abraham and Isaac, and if God appeared to Jacob there as the God of Abraham and Isaac, why would Jacob go there to make offerings to God of ONLY “his father Isaac”? Instead of to the God of his fathers, Abraham and Isaac?
Rashi, citing the midrash answers this question, with a bit of practical halacha: Jacob prays to the "God of his father Isaac" because “the obligation to honor one's father is greater than the obligation to honor one's grandfather.”
What are Rashi and the rabbis teaching us here? How does Jacob do the mitzvah of honoring his father when the Torah simply says that “Israel (Jacob) offered sacrifices to the God of his father Isaac”?
[discussion followed]
I was drawn to this particular bit of commentary on our parasha because my father’s favorite verse in the whole Torah, which he loved to quote to me on a regular basis was: Kabed es aveecha v’es eemecha, the 5th of the 10 Commandments, Honor your father and your mother.
And we also learn from Rashi’s comment on our parasha that the obligation to honor your father is not only greater than honoring your grandfather, but that the mitzvah to honor your father applies even after they die, for Jacob’s father Isaac, who is honored by Jacob’s offering here, died long ago.
According to the Shulchan Aruch, the 16th century code of Jewish law, honoring your father and mother means feeding them, clothing them, and helping them come in and out.
It seems that the essence of these laws is about preserving your parents’ dignity. Anyone who has parents knows that honoring your parents is one of the hardest mitzvot. But the codes require that even if we disagree with our parents, we must still maintain their dignity and honor them.
My dad’s rabbi friend said in his eulogy that they discussed the reason why the mitzvah says to honor your parents; it doesn’t say to love them. My father explained – your parents might not always be lovable, but they gave us life, so it is our duty to honor them and be grateful to them.
And the Shulchan Aruch instructs us that we honor our parents even after their deaths. How?
By mentioning what we learned from them:
by saying “that is what my father, my teacher said, hareni kaparat mishkavo, may I be an atonement for him” – that’s what we should say in the first 12 months after the death, and after that when we mention him, we say zichrono livracha, may his memory be a blessing.
So when Jacob makes an offering to the God of his father Isaac, he honors his father by mentioning his name, by connecting to God through his father’s relationship to God, and by connecting to his father through an offering of gratitude. So too may we honor our parents.
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